I think in addition to locking my keys in my car 300 miles from home yesterday and having to give the absolute whole of my budget to a locksmith to spend 8 seconds getting my car open, I lost my fucking mind. I don't know if Kansas City was very, very good to me as I lost my mind in the comedy of errors, or if it was very, very bad to me. All I know for sure is I did, indeed, lose my mind at some point yesterday, and as a result....
The drive home took an interesting turn just outside of Bethany, Missouri.
motorcycle passed me, and then took the exit for the businesses, and
since I always fill my tank in Bethany to get home, I took the exit right behind it. We
ended up on opposite sides of the same pump, and the motorcycle rider
chatted with me. And he flirted with me. And it was nice.
I headed in to use the ladies' room and grab a soda and pay for the
gas. When I left, he had moved his bike away from the pumps and was
drinking a soda. I looked at him and he looked at me, and he smiled at
me. When I got in my car and pulled out, he made eye contact and smiled
I was almost to the exit of the gas station
parking lot when I hesitated. "What would it be like to just pull a
u-turn, park next to him, get out, and ask if I can kiss him?" I
wondered. "That would be a terrible idea," I thought, glancing in my
rear view mirror, and noting that he was watching my car.
pulled through the exit, onto the roadway, and thought again about
turning right and pulling back in, rather than left and out onto the
highway again. In the end, I turned left, and drove away, on my way
back to Iowa.
But, I couldn't get him out of my mind. I
can't really explain it. He just kind of stayed there. And all I
could think for the next couple of exits was going back to see if he was
still there. Foolishness! I told myself.
And then, I
did the unthinkable. I made a promise to myself. "If I see his
headlamp in my rear view mirror on this highway again, I'm going to pray
that he recognizes my car, pulls over, and I'm going to kiss that
man." 45 minutes and 50 miles later, I gave up. So much for crazy
ideas and spontaneity.
Then, improbably, a few miles
behind me and coming up fast, I saw that headlamp. "It can't be," I
told myself. He had to be doing 90-100 mph to have caught up. "It has
to be someone else." And then he passed me, and it was the same man, on
the same bike. And he looked intently at the car, but being 10:45 at
night, he couldn't see in.
He pulled in front of me,
slowed to 80. I kept pace. He changed lanes to get around a truck or
car, and I changed lanes to keep him in sight. He'd start to pull
ahead, going faster than 80, and I'd drop back. Then, he'd slow down to
let me keep pace.
As we entered Des Moines, I thought
surely our paths would diverge. "Please, just pull over and into a gas
station!" I prayed out loud.
He took the Merle Hay
exit. "If he pulls into the first gas station," I thought, "I'll follow
and use the ladies' room. If he skips the gas station and heads to a
more residential area, I'll pull into the gas station, use the ladies'
room, and head home."
He pulled into the first gas
station, and we ended up talking for an hour. He told me that after I
left, he saw me hesitate and hoped I'd turn around. He told me that
when he left, he hoped he'd see my car on the road, but eventually gave
up. He told me that as he passed exit after exit, getting farther and
farther from Bethany, he was sure I had pulled off on one of them. He
told that when he saw my Mustang, he thought just maybe it was me, but
he couldn't see into the car.
Then, he told me that
when I kept pace with him, he knew it couldn't be a cop because it was a
Mustang, but he also wasn't sure it was me, but he hoped it might be,
and that when he saw me lagging behind, he'd slow down so I could keep
He's 31 and single, though he goes on dates.
He's an electrician. He lives an hour west of where I work. He was
nervous standing there talking to me on a rather cold July night.
he asked to exchange numbers. I gave him my number and he sent a text
so I'd have his. Then he told me that he hated to end our time
together, but (it was 12:00 am at this point), he had been traveling all
day, and he did need to get home.
And I stood there looking at him as he packed up his bike. He gave me a hug, and as the hug ended, I did not move to step back.
I very slowly and carefully shifted my head just so, leaned closer, and
let him close the gap. Both my hands were on his chest at this point, I
think gripping his jacket. I ended the kiss, and pulled back slightly,
but stopped just at the point where our noses were clear, tilted my
head in the other direction and continued the kiss. Soft and slightly
open-mouthed. I told myself that all I had planned was one kiss and
this was clearly morphing into two kisses, and I should stop. My mouth
completely closed, I opened my eyes, and started to pull away; then I closed my eyes and
kissed him again. This time, I know for sure I was clenching his jacket
with my left hand, wanting to keep him pulled in and prolong the kiss, my right palm flat
against his chest, willing myself to end the kiss -- using my hands as a
barrier to any further contact -- and end the night.
kiss ended. The whole of it couldn't have taken more than ten
seconds. It was the best kiss I've ever had. It was phenomenal. And
erotic, and so freaking hot.
I wonder if I've lost my mind to kiss a total stranger in the parking lot of a gas station at midnight in Des Moines.
he texted me this afternoon, and who knows what, if anything, might
happen. All I know for sure is, it was one seriously amazing kiss.