Sunday, December 11, 2011

Success! A Hat That Fits!

I have a huge head.

It's true.  And it's okay because my huge head matches my gigantic man hands and my huge feet.

I have to buy men's athletic shoes, because I cannot often find women's shoes in my size.  I have to buy really cheap, crappy women's dress shoes, because higher end shoe makers don't make women's dress shoes in my size.

On the rare occasion that I find myself thinking, "Gee, I'd like a warm pair of gloves," I have to buy them in the men's department as well.

But hats?  Warm, winter hats?  Forget it.  There is simply no manufacturer out there who makes a hat big enough for my huge head.

Oh, I've tried.  Lots of time.  And it always ends the same:  with a red pressure mark across my forehead from the band of the hat, which, inevitably has squeezed my head until it's bunched up, slid up my head, and fallen off.

This experience, repeated many times over the years, had, I thought, permanently put me off the hat-buying habit.  Really, who wants a red stripe across their forehead, mussed up hair, and no hat to show for it?

Then, Friday night.

My parents and I were on our way to dinner to celebrate my mother's birthday.  In a recent dish-washing accident, the crock-pot had been broken, and so we stopped at a local department store to pick up a new one.

Now, my father decided this was the perfect time to find himself a new stocking cap.  I tagged along to the men's department to see what they had, knowing it would be a fruitless and disappointing trip.  After all, it's not like winter hat manufacturers have changed all that much over the course of time.

Oh, was I ever wrong.

Turning the corner, what should I see but this:

That's right!  A hat, in the image of a cow's head with attached mittens!

I decided to try it on just for fun.  And can you imagine my delight when I realized for the first time in my life I was wearing a warm winter hat that actually fit!  Sadly, the flaps are not long enough to reach the ends of my arms, so in order to wear the mittens, I have to keep my elbows bent at 45 degrees or greater.  But who cares!?

This is the  coolest winter hat EVER!  (In my not so humble opinion.)  And at $14.20, tax included, how could I possibly pass it up?

Yep.  I bought the hat.  The first winter hat that has ever fit my ginormous head.  And what a sweet hat it is.  I can't wait to wear it to the office on Monday.

Warm ears.  Stylin' good looks.  And it doesn't muss up my hair.  What a fantastic Friday buy.

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