Friday, March 15, 2013

There are Worse Things in Life

I have cried myself to sleep every night this week.  Deep, body wrenching, soul crushing sobs.

I now have inflamed sinuses, a cracked and very sore nose, my tears have changed consistency and leak from my eyes with a viscosity more reminiscent of ointment than water.

I've sniffled my through a box of Puffs at work.

A dear friend and I went to Target on Wednesday to visit our barista.  Her name is Jessica.  While she serves all patrons of the Starbucks at Target, we claim her as our own. as I prefer the coffee at our local, non-chain coffee bar, the benefit of Target is that we were able to get some other shopping done.  We wandered through the grocery section, contemplating peanut butter.  I mentioned perusing the nuts in hopes of finding some honey mustard almonds.

We skipped over the nuts and landed in the booze aisle.  I contemplated two bottles of vodka.  That's how I did it last time.  A fifth of vodka in a very short time frame.  I was not successful, and so two fifths seemed like it might increase my chances.

A fleeting thought.

My friend asked if she should not allow me to purchase alcohol.  "I wasn't going to anyhow," I told her truthfully.  "Just....thinking."

The chair looked like this,
minus the ottoman and white
We began to wander to the sporting goods section and got distracted by furniture.  In particular, a child's armchair.  It was about 24 inches high.  Blue.  "What do you think would happen if we bought this, put casters on the legs, and replaced our bosses' boss's chair with it?"  My friend agreed it would be awesome!  Our bosses' boss is about 5' tall.  He's an extraordinary man, but the chair gag was just too funny.  The chair itself was $80.00.  We'll be on the look out for a salvage.
Those are strips of white pleather
We pondered decorative pillows, most too hideous to believe.  No wonder that style is on clearance.  "Nate Berkus needs to go back to design school," I remarked.

We wandered through bedding.  I pondered a sheet set for a twin bed I do not own.

Upon our arrival in the sporting goods section, we found what we, or rather I, was looking for:  basketballs.  I had rather hoped to find a mini ball in the traditional orange.  No such luck.  The mini balls were all odd colors:  green or blue.  They were also $2.00 more than the junior size balls that actually came in the traditional orange.  A junior ball it was to be.

On our way to the registers, we passed the seasonal section:  patio furniture.  A sure sign that spring is on the way. mini grill caught my eye, and I pondered the realities of carbon monoxide, a drafty house, poorly insulated room, unfinished doorways and much beloved dogs and a couple of cats.  Not to mention other people.  Though at that rate the amount of CO produced by the limited quantity of charcoal briquettes that would fit in a grill that size, in a house relatively large for such an application....

A fleeting thought.

The front of the store was beckoning us on, and as we passed electronics, I decided to pick up a phone card, though I wasn't sure why.  Another thick, gelled tear rolled down my left cheek.  I cleared my throat.  To stay in contact with everyone in my contact list.  Right.  Yes.  That makes sense.

Books.  I see a book by an author I enjoy reading, though I am ashamed to admit it.

I could get this book for the same price at Barnes and Noble, and I would get to enjoy the book-buying atmosphere there, an atmosphere which is missing in department stores.

Then it hits me:  I can never go to Barnes and Noble again.  Several tears leak from the corners of my eyes.

It's like the mangoes of 2008-2010 all over again.  During that time, I could not look at a mango without crying uncontrollably.

Recluse.  Shut in.  This is what amazon is for.

Artwork courtesy of Chris Lynch
Sharpie markers.  Black.  For the basketball.  Because Lucille says:  Enjoy March Madness!

There are worse things in life.  I have survived much.

There are worse things in life.  I will survive this.

There are worse things in life.  I get out of bed every morning.

There are worse things in life.  I go to work and do my job.  I socialize.  I delight in the ridiculous.

There are worse things in life.  Perhaps one of these days I'll actually believe it.

A fleeting thought.  Now passed.  I still live.

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