Sunday, October 2, 2011

New Panties!

Yes, this blog posting really is about new panties.  And old panties.  A post entirely devoted to panties.

And since it's been awhile since I posted about panties, I'll just say it up front:  Panties are my favorite accessory.

Now, there are some, and I know SEVERAL who would happily argue 'til the cows come home that panties are NOT an accessory.  They are a necessity.

Well, I disagree.  And I disagree for one reason, and one reason only.  At one point in my life, I went an entire year without wearing a single pair of panties.  My friends who knew of my panties-eschewing, commando were somewhat horrified.  Who could possibly go a day without wearing panties let alone a year without wearing panties?!

Well, 4% of the American population, including me apparently.

But I didn't give up panties for any great love of freedom and breezy nature of skirts.  My reasons for not wearing panties are far more entertaining.

I lost my panties.

Not in a "Where did they go?" kind of way.  But in a "I've quite literally lost them off my body" kind of way.

I had spent 18 months diligently eating healthy and exercising like a fiend.  I had lost 165 pounds.  My panties were officially 8 sizes too big.

And I wear skirts and dresses with relish.

So, there I was, a fine fall afternoon, walking down Broadway in Morningside Heights, and my silky string bikini has suddenly worked its way to my knees.  I know that in another three steps, it'll be around my ankles and two steps after that in a satin puddle on the sidewalk, brown background and colorful butterflies for all the world to see.

What exactly does one do in this kind of a situation?  Well, I clamped my knees together like doing so was going to save my life, and I dashed, er hobbled, into Barnard College courtyard, straight into the first building I could find, to the ladie's room.  Sure enough, as soon as I unclenched my knees my panties were on the floor.

I stepped out of them, tucked my in my shoulder bag, and headed on my way.  It was a breezy day.

This is when I first learned that panties are not a necessity.  And if you can't afford to buy a new pair, they are quite a luxurious accessory.  And I'm not the $10 for a 6 pack at Wal-Mart kind of girl.  I'm a $14.50 a pair but when they're always on sale 5 for $30 kind of girl.

So, having spent the last few months diligently eating healthy (no more refined sugar) and exercising (hey, I've graduated from working with 8-lb free weight to 10-lb free weights), my waist band was getting looser.  And after a year and half, there were stains and worn out elastic and holes.

Thus, yesterday, I went shopping!  And I bought panties.  And it was a blast.  I found a great sweater and the world cutest cotton nighty, too!  White cotton, spaghetti straps, with purple and green cross-stitched flowers and hem line.  It was a very fruitful trip.

My panty drawer is now full of beautiful accessories that fit, and will continue to do so for another several months.  And when I put on a skirt for church this morning, I was sure to grab from the side of new panties.  Because losing your panties on Broadway is one thing.  Losing them at the Communion table?  Something else entirely.

God bless those new panties.  They stayed in place.

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